The Reverend and his Trans-gender Mother

Every single transgender in the city, from Tambaram to Ponneri knows him. To some he is their father, to the rest he is their brother and to one he is her son.
It all started about 25 years ago when Rev. Charles saw a group of people beating and chasing a eunuch. He rescued the eunuch from the gang. But instead of thanking him, the eunuch rejected him.
“If you talk to me, they will think badly about you”, the eunuch said.
But Rev. Charles, a pastor with the Church of South India (CSI) was persistent. He took the eunuch home and they started conversing over a cup of tea.
“How can I call you”, the Reverend asked
“People call me ‘maari’, but I don’t like that name, It sounds masculine” the eunuch replied.
Eunuchs want themselves to be identified more as females than as males or even trangenders. But they usually hate talking to women. They want an identity as women in order to get the attention of men that is all.
Men tease them, so they feel that they are at least attended to and looked at.
“He wanted her to be called as she”, said Rev. Charles.
So from then on ‘Maari’ was re-christened ‘Maria’.
Right from his childhood Rev. Charles was keen on doing things that other people don’t normally do. His passion for music drove him to learn 19 different instruments. He specialized in violin and flute since they were difficult to play. “I then took up flute, because there were too many violinists around” he says. He is now more popularly known as ‘flute’ Charles.
He always has a heart for people who are special. His thesis for his Bachelors in Divinity (B.D) at Madurai was on Leprosy. He did a paper presentation in Germany on the Physically Challenged and another one in Switzerland on the Mentally Retarded.
Rev. Charles now got a few more friends through Maria. They all were born like Maria. Rev. Charles started studying more about these people. He researched on these people.
The change or the diffusion in the chromosomes of the baby gets defused in the 9th week inside its mother’s womb. The parents are not responsible in any way.
For a Spastic child it is family Hereditary. A child can be born mentally retarded if the couple is close relative. And the intake of some drug can cause a child to be born physically handicapped. But for a transgender, there is no such reason. It just happens.
Eunuchs don’t stay with their families, because they are not accepted and cared for. Around 92% of the eunuchs do not stay with their families. Another reason why they do not stay with their families is because they prefer not to be under the control of any one. 80% of them smoke and drink. And most of them indulge in sexual activities by choice. They are not forced into sex, except for a few.
“It is more of an identity crisis for them. By nature they have a liking for sex”, says Rev. Charles. “Most of them are physically harassed and mentally tortured”. Some of them even get closely attached to one person and live as their concubine.
“My challenge now was for them to be one of us, for which I wanted to become one among them”, says Rev. Charles.
So he decided to get himself adopted as a son to one of the senior most eunuchs in the country.
“Never in the history of India has a son been adopted by a eunuch” he says with his eyebrows raised and with proud smile.
“I was the first one”
He called up Latha Nayak the ‘Guru’ of the second family in the kingdom of the eunuchs and told her about himself and got to know more about her. He then told her his wish to be adopted as her son.
Eunuchs in India live in a small kingdom that has seven families – Lalan Waley, Raskar Waley, Shakla Waley, Hadj Brahm Waley, Bendhi Bijar Waley and Dongri Waley.
The heads or the ‘gurus’ as they are called, of these seven families are Nasim Nayak, Latha Nayak, Bindhya nayak, Haskar Nayak, Faridh nyak, Ragini Nayak and Shyamana Nayak respectively. All of them reside in Mumbai.
“My mother is the ‘guru’ of the second family” says Rev. Charles proudly.
“A small ceremony was conducted for me to be adopted as their son” It was a gathering where all the Eunuchs of Mumbai came together. The other six ‘gurus’ of the families were invited as special guests.
A holy cloth was put on Latha Nayak covering her head. Rev. Charles knelt down near the feet of Latha nayak, his hands near his mouth, as if drinking water from a tap. He then drank cow’s milk that was poured on Latha Nayak’s head down through her body.
“Have you ever seen a golden tumbler?” he asked excitedly. “I was given cow’s milk in a golden tumbler” he exclaimed.
When Rev. Charles came back to Chennai after the adoption ceremony, he was surprised to see a large gathering of eunuchs, holding garlands in their hands, waiting to welcome him. “The news of me being adopted as a son reached Chennai immediately” says Rev. Charles.
For the past 8 years Rev. Charles and his family have been working for the welfare of these people. Every year Rev. Charles, his wife a Psychiatrist and their two daughters, one a dentist and the younger a nutritionist go and visit Latha Nayak.
“Any emergency, I rush to their rescue”, he says.
Not much has been achieved, but he is happy that there are some who have stopped shop begging and go to dignified jobs and some pursue their studies.
Narthangi has done her Phd. in Indian Dance and Sonali a HIV+ for 11 years works for an NGO. She heads four projects at present and has about 20 others working under her. They work among women sex workers, distributing condoms and spreading awareness on AIDS.
“It feels great when I see them going to their offices in a dignified way”
Leaning forward from his chair and placing his bearded chin on the palm of his hands, Rev. Charles says “Only one out of 8,000 children is born this way, we still have difficulty accepting that one child”
“All they want is acceptance”, he said, the burden to uplift these people, very evident in his eyes.